Tear up/delete/throw away your old love letters/emails/memorabiliaīe excited about the things that excite meīe interested in my problems. Stop being friends with old lovers (even on social media) Stop being friends with people I don’t like or trust Limit time watching TV/phone playing video games Wants to be with me/immediate family most of the timeĭon’t agree to events/invite others over without asking me first Spend time with friends/family/coworkers away from me/immediate family Indulge my need for a creative outlet/hobby/interests Limit outside interests or hobbies that take away time from me/immediate family Give in (when it’s really, really important to me) Let me sleep in when I’ve had a rough night/been up with kids Make eco-conscious decisions-recycle, turn off lights, limit showers/water useĬommunicate with me in my love language(s) Rarely pass gas in front of me (or give warnings) Include me in decisions before making a purchase of an agreed upon amount Research large purchases/commitments (home/car/computer/furnishings/school) Keep track of things that need to be cleaned/maintained irregularly Keep the house tidy and free from clutterĭo the dishes, unload/load dishwasher and dry Take care of your health/go to the doctor regularlyĬontinuously learn and work on personal development Take vitamins, supplements, and medications Never have a close friendship with a member of the opposite sexĭonate/give/loan an agreed upon amount of money without consulting meĪlways want to do what I really, really want to doĪgree with me-especially when I’m venting Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex Never walk away/ignore me/look at phone/tv when I’m talking Never do anything that upsets me, especially if I’ve communicated specifics in the pastĬall/text me when you’re going to be late We will never spam or sell your personal information. Provide your email and first name if you would like a copy sent to you for your records, we will not keep your email or information unless you click the box acknowledging if you would like to join an email list. Use this to talk about the future, not to rehash the past. It's still good to talk through the places of alignment, because even then a partner may have already compromised. You may show that you do something rarely, but that's ok because your partner does not expect this. Perhaps you assume that both partners are 50/50, but your partner has a different ranking. Working through this as a couple allows you to see gaps in assumptions and actuals. The second part is answering the same statements but in the form of how often you do this for your partner (on the same 1 to 5 scale). The first part is answering how often you expect the statements of your partner (1 is rarely to 5 is usually). I suggest that you work through this worksheet with your partner. We often don't know that we have these beliefs until we experience conflict, and it can be difficult to talk through or even recognize our assumptions. So many misunderstandings in our relationships can come from assumed unstated expectations.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |